Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 243 - Bodhi !

One of the few things (along with caramel and news of a new album from Coldplay) that can totally change the flavour of my day for the absolute better is getting photos of my nephew Bodhi, or my niece, Zara sent to me by their respective mothers (my sisters). They are both adorably photogenic, with bright personalities and my only regret is that I don't them more. At least I get the pics so I can keep in touch that way.

Today was Bodhi's day and I loved the pics. He remains cute beyond belief!

Yes he is wearing a nappy as a chef's hat!

Cuddling and giggling with my cousin, Rebecca

Funny faces with Rebecca!

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 242 - Private Viewing of the It Gets Better video

Today is the day I get to view the completed video and I am nervous, and excited all at once.

Nervous because I have no idea how what I said will come across, and if I will be comfortable seeing it (which is odd since very little makes me truly nervous these days but it makes sense I guess since what I am sharing is so personal, and it will splashed across the internet for all to see), and because I am meeting all the other people who contributed their life stories (we were filmed separately so I didn't see them then) for the first time at the same time as I am hearing them share such deep personal stuff. It's the complete reversal of social norms, and should prove very interesting. It is possible we will bond instantly after watching it.

Excited because if there's one cause I champion, and truly believe in, it's this one. I was told for years I was worthless, perverted, immoral etc simply because I was gay, and teased on soul-excoriating scale at the same time, and while I didn't contemplate suicide, I constantly hated myself, and felt I had failed in some way to live up to expected norms. Coming out freed me from this, and released to be who I truly am (and find the love of my life) and I want to celebrate that, and underscore to teenagers under the harsh glare of merciless judgement, that life does get better. It isn't ajust a slogan; it's very real.

Can't wait for 2.30 and the viewing....

Well I have viewed the video along with all the Sydney based contributors (some of the people involved were in Melbourne) and I am in awe of the powerful, amazing things my fellow contributors had to say! It was a privilege to hear them share so many truly special parts of their lives, both the good and bad, as we all stood together watching the short video ( it's about 7 minutes or so in length). I ended up featuring quite a bit which surprised me, not because I don't think that what I shared had value but because everyone else really shared deeply of themselves too.


The video goes live in about a month and I think it will be one of the proudest days of my life to be a part of something that matters so much to me and I can only hope that our small contribution touches some lives somewhere and reminds everyone that it does get better!

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 241 - Guide Me O Thy Great Herald

I always buy the Sydney Morning Herald on weekdays, and most famously (if you can call anything I do even remotely famous, which is highly debateable) on Saturdays, and it's mostly because I am a complete media/news junkie and I love keeping up with all the news.

Yes I know with the internet, news is far more immediate these days making newspapers a tad arcane, but there is something about reading news after the international outlining of it on cable news etc, especially when people have had time to carefully consider what the news actually means, and whether what was initially reported was even true, that is far more pleasing.

Mondays though are slightly different in that I always looked forward to getting the Herald on the first working day of the week to get their TV guide, prosaically called The Guide. But lately as my consumption of TV has moved more and more to after-the-fact (thank you iTunes!), or waiting till the DVD box set arrives (Big Bang Theory), the Guide has become less and less relevant. Adding to it's declining usefulness, is the fact that the OzTV app on my iPhone does what the Guide does far morer quickly and easily and smoothly and I begin to wonder why I get The Guide at all anymore.


Oh the (digital) times they are -achangin'!

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 240 - Chillaxing

I started the day with brunch on my apartment's balcony with my guy (pancakes - yum!)

And finished it with him cooking me a divinely delicious pasta dish that tastes like its full of cream but ISN'T, thanks to the clever use of flour, water and some spices.

Inbetween I wrote a new bridging part of my novel that I needed to do to fix to avoid my character always getting out of trouble the same way every time (woke up inspired to write it - my mind seems to do this and has done since uni; cogitates for weeks without me realising then suddenly spits it out! Very cool), tried to write some more till I found out my Pages (Apple's word processing software) trial period had expired and I couldn't save or print the two paragraphs I had just written (thank goodness my iPhone was there to photograph it), read and chilled and watched TV snuggled up withy my guy.

Life is exceedingly good on days like these (Apple's software policy aside!)

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 239 (Saturday 27 August) - Lots of Things To Do!

Today was a busy day.

I started off by SWIMMING 750m (to help my sore back improve and it worked nicely)

Then I met my guy who'd just got his hair cut for a late brunch/early LUNCH @ Pie Tin, a new gourmet pie place in Newtown. My rosemary & lamb pie had lots of juicy yummy chunks in it and the sweet potato mash was sublime. We will be back!

Then I read the Sydney Morning Herald (briefly while I napped a little too with my guy)

Then we went to Brighton-le-Sands for a drink and quick catch up with my guy's sister Carolyn who was in town for the day to attend an Auslan (deaf interpreter) conference. She's always delightful and lots of fun and it was great to see her. (We dropped her off at the airport for her flight home to Melbourne)

And finally we stopped for a yummy dinner at a new restaurant in Marrickville, Everest Kitchen, with our good friend, Fahmi. The service was wonderful, the food subtlety spicy and delicious and it was well priced. We shall return!

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 238 - Thali Mo Mali Fi Fali Ngaire!

I love my cousin Ngaire!


Alas I haven't seen her since New Year's Eve because life has been crazy busy, she's been off to Tanzania for a month on holiday getting ready to leave in 3 weeks for 12 months at Ayusha in the north of the country working at a school that helps kids between 14 & 24 get ready to go to secondary school and then uni, none of which are paid for (primary school is free). 

It was an absolute delight catching up again - conversation was never in short supply, she gets on wonderfully well with my beautiful guy, Steve, the Semillon Sauvignon wine @ The Civic Hotel was just right, the food at Jaipur Masala was delicious ( I love my Thalis which are essentially mini-buffets of some curries, rice, bread and condiments in small servings, all on one tray) and we even got on a train almost immediately (after I re-enacted one of those war time farewell movies by running alongside the train waving goodbye to Ngaire's amusement).

An awesomely great way to end the week.

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 237 - Back in the Cubicle o' Death and Ennui

I woke up this morning oddly ready to go to work, and feeling considerably better (although at the time of writing this mid afternoon, I am feeling a little less than fabulous darling; it would be a whole lot less glitter kitten-ish save for a can of Pepsi Max earlier), but also feeling oddly like my life isn't where I want it to be at all, save for the relationship with my gorgeous guy and my friends.

Career-wise, I have been increasingly feeling like the road has ended where I am, but I am uncertain where to go next. In the past I used to just take a flying leap at the prettiest opportunity glittering nearby but after the horrible events at work in late April, I decided it was high time I started being far more pro-active, and so I start working frenetically on my novel. Now while I am a man of great optimism, and positive belief in the future, I can also be prone to just as much panic and fear (all irrational of course) and I am finding it hard to stay strong in the belief that the novel is the way forward. There is still much work to be done on the novel, I keep reading that you should never publish your first novel (too bad - its the start of my trilogy), and I have recently hit somewhat of a quagmire that's slowed my creative momentum (largely caused by long work hours, and sickness).

So add in my disenchantment with my job but uncertainty of what to do next, fear that the novel won't pan out as a legitimate life step, and a general unease I am not doing a good enough job of living my life, which speaks very much to my upbringin in the church where life was less about enjoying the experience/the journey, and much more about what you managed to achieve. I still want to achieve things but I want to ENJOY the journey. I have grown so much, and healed so many old wounds but there is still this nagging sense I am not where I should be, and I wish I could just enjoy what I am doing for the pure joy of doing it.

But right now, as I attempt to work a normal day while still feeling the after effects of my cold, I just want to sleep. That will do for now and I can re-invent my life tomorrow I think....

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 236 - Home Again....Now Not Just Cold But....

.... my back, people, my back!


Not content with letting a miscreant virus run havoc through my system, my body, after careful consideration, and weighing up the many options available to it, decided to throw out my lower back! Now it's not the first time this has happened, as my physio, currently holidaying on Cancun will attest, and it's an annoying side effect of sleeping on my stomach since I was a kid, but I don't think I have ever had my back go out while I was sick with a cold! It was only a matter of time I guess since I spent much of the last four days napping and sleeping at night on my stomach but still..... NOT HAPPY JAN (memo to self : get a new snappy pop culture phrase to denote unhappiness and do it smartly!)

Thankfully once again, Eureka came to the rescue and I watched a lot of season 2 episodes (numbers 5 through 10) in between the napping, Ellen show watching and comfort food eating (cannot wait to get back to exercise and slim down again, yummy though the consumption of obscenely unhealthy food has been, and unquestionably restorative in it's efficacy) 

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 235 (Tuesday 23 August) - Yet More Sickness, Thankfully More Eureka

Never has one man been so grateful for one TV show.


I was home again today, chained to my bed - only figuratively; while some kinkiness may be fun, I am pretty it's not something I want to do when my lungs are full of phlegm and my neck glands are swollen (according to the very nice doctor I saw today) - and while I think I will spend my sick days doing lots of stuff I can't do when I am at work, the truth is I am usually too...um... sick to do any of those things soooo...

I lie in bed, drink Lemsips, throw down aspirins, sleeps lots and watch my new favourite TV show, which is so quirky, fun and full of just the sort of distracting pop cultureness that you need when your body once again plays host to the wrong kind of virus.


MEMO TO SELF - check if there is a good kind of virus. My scantly recalled year 8 biology knowledge is failing me at the moment (not that it ever really proved to be of much benefit)

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 234 : Sickerer and Sickerer

Yep I woke up even sicker today with what feels like a sore lump in my throat, a deep, throaty, and thoroughly unsexy cough coupled with near immovable chest congestion. I feel so tired that all I really want to do is sleep which I guess is my body's way of saying "STOP BEING AN EXTROVERT LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO HEAL DUMBASS!" (think Red, the dad from That 70s Show saying this.)

At least the time off work has given me a chance to watch the remaining episodes of Eureka season 1... well at least when I wasn't drowsily closing my eyes and missing segments.

Heal thyself body!

I will now sleep...

( I am not vomiting but the images used above are so much fun that I had to use them)

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 233 - Quiet Day @ Home - Just Me and My Flu

Yes I am sick.... AGAIN!


Thanks to the good workaholic culture of the company I work for, where everyone comes in when they're really sick thus sharing the germs around, and around, and around and....


Anyway, I thought I was winning the battle last night. Sure I felt tired, even after a nap, but I was taking the Ease-a-cold, gargling the Aspro Clears and feeling well enough that I thought I might be able to exercise today. Ha! I woke this morning, after a very disturbed night's sleep, during which I could have sworn I was swallowing razor blades, feeling grotty, sick, and in real danger of losing my voice. My gorgeous guy had to drive to an all day workshop at Springwood for a new company he is thinking of becoming involved in, and so I toddled off home at 8 a.m. still thinking I would spend the morning writing character synopses for my novel, then blog, the stick stuff on Ebay....

Instead, and because I am an ever half glass full optimist I didn't see this coming, I read a little, napped a lot (2 hours first stint from 10.30 - 12.30), got up, ate, read some more (finally read all my unread Entertainment Weekly mags - see above - so score!), napped again 1 1/2 hours this time) before finally having the strength to blog for a couple of hours and at least get something done.


Now I think I will curl up on the couch and watch some more episodes of Eureka, and then possibly sleep some more...

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 232 (Saturday 20 August) - Art and Orchestra, All in One Kulcha-Laden Day

Actually the art was pretty restricted to the fact that my friend Susie and I finally caught up again one on one for the first time in a gazillion years this morning at Hazelhurst Art Gallery in Gymea. Yes folks, I returned to the Shire, my home of 17 years till I moved to the sunnier, more eclectic climes of Erskineville four years ago, and while I still have no hankering to live there again - it's a tad too white bread, suburban and well, straight for me - it was brilliant to sit down at the cafe the gallery runs, eat a massive big breakfast (with whole Shiitake mushrooms) and have a long rambling catch up with my darling friend Susie just like we did in them good old days....

Then it was back to my current haunt for an afternoon and evening with my gorgeous guy, helping him assemble a new shelving system, and then napping, before we headed into the City for a night with the Australian Chamber Orchestra (or ACO Daco as I have christened them). While I would never say I love classical music, thanks to my mother, and now my gorgeous guy I have learnt to appreciate how beautiful, moving and delightful the music can be, and especially when performed live by musicians as talented as the ones in ACO Daco. While the first half was a bit all over the place for me - loved the Bach, tolerated the Webern, and disliked the dissonance of the Stravinsky - it was the second half when the Orchestra played Schubert's String Quartet in C Major D.956, made up of four melodically different movements, that I truly enjoyed. This half went for 55 minutes but I barely noticed so engaging and beautifully played was the music.

At St Peters station on the way in - I made him pose for this shot 5 times till I thought I looked good. Such vanity...

Tonight's program

Even going home, which could have been frustrating when we missed our train by 1 minute, and faced a 30 minute wait to the next one, proved delightful as we, at my suggestion, caught the train from Wynyard to Circular Quay and took in the stunning view of the Harbour at night while we talked and relaxed.... perfect.

My new Facebook profile shot at Circular Quay station all dolled up in black for the night

Now that's a much better view than the ad-crammed soot-stained walls of Wynyard station!

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 231 - Don't Rain On My TGIF Marsala

So another unremarkable busy day at work, in a cubicle no where near as nice as yesterdays' newly constructed IKEA effort, with breakfast (toast and juice) and lunch (less than healthy Asian food but what the hell!) bought, and dinner too (my 3rd lot of Indian food for the week, at my gorgeous guy's request, prompting his enquiry : 'Are you sick of Indian?' Am I what?! Of course not, I doubt that's even possible for me, thank you), and all seemed lovely and rosy till I attempted to walk home in the rain that had been falling all day, and my umbrella blew out not once but multiple times...

.... it must die. Luckily for it in the short term, the rain held off again till I got home so it has lived to serve another day. 

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 230 - WTF I'm WFH?! Cool

I got to work from home for the first time!  

The view from my temporary cubicle was delightful indeed, and mere seconds from Smoothie Central

Having finally got a laptop, and a VPN that works (remote access), and knowing today I would be in pain from the root canal yesterday, and on a smoothie drip (my strawberry and blueberry smoothie kicked considerable arse yesterday!), I got to stay in my trakky daks, and work from the comfort of my dining room table. It was bliss - I got lots done without all the constant interruptions, had lunch with my friend Warren, rested when it all got too much, and after finishing the day off at 6.30, I defrosted some Indian food, made the aforementioned smoothie, and kicked back to blog and then watch two more episodes of Eureka.


I can't wait to do more of it when it's needed.

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 229 (Wednesday 17 August) - Its Gets Better....SMILE!

What an emotional day.

I started work very early....

...on a sick day I was taking so I could get the last of the root canal surgery done (more on that later), so I coulod cram an hour's work in between 7.20 and 8.20 and then dash across campus for a very important task, something I passionately and wholeheartedly believe in - filming of my part in the It Gets Better project contribution by Optus, the company I work for.

It Gets Better was started about a year ago by a couple in the USA, Dan Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, in response to a rash of suicides by LGBT youth. While they couldn't gain direct access to high schools, what they could do was post a video talking about they had gone through hell as teenagers, but that life had got better for them. It didn't sugarcoat things, and portray their lives as endless fountains of joy and happiness, and therein lay its success. It was a real impassioned plea to these kids to hold on, that even though life can unimaginably cruel and tough when you're growing up, and grappling with your sexuality while other kids taunt you, that it does get better as an adult, and that you can let the small minded bigots and bullies rob you of what will be a rich, rewarding future.

Terry Miller (left) and Dan Savage (right)

As someone who had grown up being mercilessly teased at school, and being told repeatedly the church that I was perverse, dirty and sleazy (which caused such unbridled panic in me that I repressed my sexuality till I came out at 37), I can totally relate to the feeling that as a gay teenager, you're locked away in a suffocating bubble that allows no air in or out, and so darkens the future that the only choices are falling so deep into yourself that no one ever sees the real you (which kills you bit by bit), or killing yourself. I went with the former, but I could understand why kids feel there is so little hope that they need to end it all.

But as a man who finally came out, discovered how creative and outrageous I can be, made a ton of warm, supportive friends, and finally, and most deliriously, wonderfully, met a gorgeous man who has made my life so amazingly rich, fulfilling and unloved that I still can't believe I have met the love of my life and soul mate, I am living proof that it does get better. Amazingly fantastically better in ways that never crossed my mind during my years in the church where I was told I was diseased and wrong, or the years at school when kids made me feel lower than low, and it grieves me to think that anyone would end their lives before seeing the changes that will come, as surely as day follows night. I know how awful the teenage years can be, I know it intimately well, but I also know it is possible to survive it, and come out the other end not only intact but thriving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWYqsaJk_U8  (Apple)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYLs4NCgvNU  (Google)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPg02qjL40g&feature=related  (Facebook)

I am so excited that I got a chance to record this piece for the Optus contribution, and the guy at Optus organising this managed to get the camera man in early so I could get filmed, then dash into the City for my root canal surgery. Originally shooting was starting at 10 a.m. which meant I was going to have to miss out, which disappointed me more than I had words for, but Carrington worked a miracle, and the Video and Broadcast Manager, Spencer, who I have worked with before was warm , compassionate and asked the most revealing of questions in a sensitive way. It was like therapy, with so many long lost emotions and thoughts, and many more recent ones, seeing the light of day (I broke down a little talking about my gorgeous guy), and I was exhausted afterwards but the thrill of being a part of something so life-changing as this overrode it all, and I walked out of campus for the train feeling 100 metres high.

.... and thankfully the tooth wasn't infected this time, the endodentist was able to finish everything off and all I need is a cap which will be done on Monday 29 August! So glad that's all over! (Fun part was that my dentist, who's a friend, and gay too, got an email from the endodentist, Torsten, that showed more than a dentist/client interest in me.....very flattering)

Up to date and interesting magazines in the rack? Surely not!

The exit from the dentists' office. Even with a numbed up drooling mouth, this was a happy walk!

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 228 (Tuesday 16 August) - Falling Skies in my Living Room

A free night where I didn't have to be anywhere with anyone (my first preference is to see my gorgeous guy especially since he's now in Sydney during the week rather than Bathurst but a night to ourselves now and then is healthy too) so my housemate and I watched the final two episodes of Falling Skies and what a humdinger they were! More sterling character development, gasp-inducing plot twists and state of the art CGI, but most importantly yummy Indian food shared with my house mate, Aidan, who's become a very good friend.

A most excellent night of house mate bonding and pop culture goodness.

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 227 - Escalating Me to Culinary Heights

After over 5 weeks of emergency repairs, the escalators at Wynyard station finally started working again today! It only took 5 weeks of emergency repairs to get this happening - I will never rely on Cityrail to save me in the event of an emergency that's for sure!

But my elation over Cityfail finally getting the parts imported from a lonely factory in Tashkent, was nothing compared to having dinner with my gorgeous guy. He made the most delicious Vietnamese spring rolls using some chicken we had got for dinner over the weekend and a whole slew of fresh delicious veges, all while we watched the latest episodes of Miranda, and Collision on ABC2... then Q&A during which I tweeted like crazy! I love our lazy Monday nights together.

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 226 (Sunday 14 August) - Mixed Bag 3

Started the day out with honey & peanut butter art. I call this Brunch: An Exercise in Not Eating Healthy Cereal Like I Do During the Break. What it lacks in brevity and bite, it makes up for in description.

Then my gorgeous guy and I finally managed to get his IKEA Benno DVD stands in place before we chilled and went into the City to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes with dinner beforehand at Albion Place Hotel, a funky new pub on George Street. Naturally I had to have lollies following the fish n chips, which made for a very healthy night out indeed.... and yes the movie was very good!

(see my review in my pop culture blog - http://sparklyprettybriiiight.blogspot.com/2011/08/rise-of-planet-of-apes.html )

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 225 (Saturday 13 August) - Mixed Bag Part Deux

So first off we did brunch! Not that remarkable but until about 10 a.m. we weren't going to but then Fahmi texted, wanted to see if we'd join him in Sydney Park after his walk for brunch, we couldn't ourselves into a socially acceptable state in time (gay standards of dress and hygiene are rigorous people!), and so we ended up having brunch at South End cafe. It was an old fave of mine, fell out of favour when it changed owners, and while the service isn't as warm and personable as it was, the Pea and Haloumi Pancakes are back to roaring form, y'all! (Yes it's said just like an affirmative Oprah statement...I am that happy!)

Fortified by great conversation and pancakes, my guy and I finally got my IKEA dining table up and in working order after it sat in about 20 pieces in the corner of my bedroom for 6 months. It looks awesome, precipitated a reorganization of the lounge-room chairs which looks similarly awesome, and I am frankly awed it is finally up. Miracles do happen people, keep believing!

In the middle of all this moving forward-ness (yes we had a Julia moment), my sister sent me more photos of my sweet photogenic nephew, Bodhi, and he is walking a LOT!

Oh, and on the way home from getting dinner, we happened across an odd food offering at the base of a power pole. Yes I know Energy Australia can be difficult to deal with at times, but are Buddhist offerings now necessary? It seems so.