Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 229 (Wednesday 17 August) - Its Gets Better....SMILE!

What an emotional day.

I started work very early....

...on a sick day I was taking so I could get the last of the root canal surgery done (more on that later), so I coulod cram an hour's work in between 7.20 and 8.20 and then dash across campus for a very important task, something I passionately and wholeheartedly believe in - filming of my part in the It Gets Better project contribution by Optus, the company I work for.

It Gets Better was started about a year ago by a couple in the USA, Dan Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, in response to a rash of suicides by LGBT youth. While they couldn't gain direct access to high schools, what they could do was post a video talking about they had gone through hell as teenagers, but that life had got better for them. It didn't sugarcoat things, and portray their lives as endless fountains of joy and happiness, and therein lay its success. It was a real impassioned plea to these kids to hold on, that even though life can unimaginably cruel and tough when you're growing up, and grappling with your sexuality while other kids taunt you, that it does get better as an adult, and that you can let the small minded bigots and bullies rob you of what will be a rich, rewarding future.

Terry Miller (left) and Dan Savage (right)

As someone who had grown up being mercilessly teased at school, and being told repeatedly the church that I was perverse, dirty and sleazy (which caused such unbridled panic in me that I repressed my sexuality till I came out at 37), I can totally relate to the feeling that as a gay teenager, you're locked away in a suffocating bubble that allows no air in or out, and so darkens the future that the only choices are falling so deep into yourself that no one ever sees the real you (which kills you bit by bit), or killing yourself. I went with the former, but I could understand why kids feel there is so little hope that they need to end it all.

But as a man who finally came out, discovered how creative and outrageous I can be, made a ton of warm, supportive friends, and finally, and most deliriously, wonderfully, met a gorgeous man who has made my life so amazingly rich, fulfilling and unloved that I still can't believe I have met the love of my life and soul mate, I am living proof that it does get better. Amazingly fantastically better in ways that never crossed my mind during my years in the church where I was told I was diseased and wrong, or the years at school when kids made me feel lower than low, and it grieves me to think that anyone would end their lives before seeing the changes that will come, as surely as day follows night. I know how awful the teenage years can be, I know it intimately well, but I also know it is possible to survive it, and come out the other end not only intact but thriving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWYqsaJk_U8  (Apple)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYLs4NCgvNU  (Google)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPg02qjL40g&feature=related  (Facebook)

I am so excited that I got a chance to record this piece for the Optus contribution, and the guy at Optus organising this managed to get the camera man in early so I could get filmed, then dash into the City for my root canal surgery. Originally shooting was starting at 10 a.m. which meant I was going to have to miss out, which disappointed me more than I had words for, but Carrington worked a miracle, and the Video and Broadcast Manager, Spencer, who I have worked with before was warm , compassionate and asked the most revealing of questions in a sensitive way. It was like therapy, with so many long lost emotions and thoughts, and many more recent ones, seeing the light of day (I broke down a little talking about my gorgeous guy), and I was exhausted afterwards but the thrill of being a part of something so life-changing as this overrode it all, and I walked out of campus for the train feeling 100 metres high.

.... and thankfully the tooth wasn't infected this time, the endodentist was able to finish everything off and all I need is a cap which will be done on Monday 29 August! So glad that's all over! (Fun part was that my dentist, who's a friend, and gay too, got an email from the endodentist, Torsten, that showed more than a dentist/client interest in me.....very flattering)

Up to date and interesting magazines in the rack? Surely not!

The exit from the dentists' office. Even with a numbed up drooling mouth, this was a happy walk!