Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 146 - Can $7.50 Really Buy You Happiness?

If it buys you a bag full of sugar-filled goodness, then yes, albeit of the temporary sugar-high kind....

I am having an awful day at work. Not because of the job itself oddly enough; yes I am busy but not so busy that I can't think straight - OK I never think straight but you know what I mean - it is more that I feel incredibly trapped, and uncertain about where to head next career-wise (see last Monday's blog), and really, really down.

It's not rational I know, and I know I have to be a grown up, pay bills, and stay here till I find something else, but then emotional reactions to things rarely are. I know I can't just run off and hope for the best like I have been but I feel trapped not knowing what the next step is....

Hence the overdose of nulti coloured sugary goodness.... not the best coping mechanism but it will do for now....


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But on a lighter note, the day started with a 7 a.m. at Nook Cafe in the City, just near my bus stop, with breakfast with dear friend, and horribly overworked and exhausted friend, Jason. We chowed down on bacon and egg rolls - a stark contrast to my usual Cheerios and low fat milk - and caught up on career angst (both of us), love lives (mostly his as he's dating up a storm) and the fact that neither can afford property in this crazy City we love.... a great start to a less than stellar day at least.

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 145 - Shanghai'd with Sammi

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 144 - Dilbert Keeps Me Sane

I have long loved Dilbert by Scott Adams, a comic strip that chronicles with pin point accuracy and humour the travails of modern corporate life, and which makes the crazy aspects of life trapped in the Beige Tomb (my cubicle) at least somewhat bearable.

Here's today's comic trip (above), and following that, a number of Dilbert comic strips that I have taped to the grey cupboard next to my desk to remind me that even on the grimmest nastiest of days that there's always something to laugh about.

Love this one because it articulates beautifully how corporations take everything from you and really was it it really worth in the end?

That's how my life feels at the moment

New Age touchy-feely working together crap

My entire work life feels tainted much of the time...

Well, eventually.....

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 143 - Monday and I Must Do Something...and Soon

Time is tick-tick-tockin' away!

No great revelation there - this year has screamed by like a frenzied zombie mob out for fresh flesh (it feels like that too!) - but I felt very keeningly again this morning as I got off the bus at work, sighed very heavily and walked into the main reception building trying to sum even a modicum of excitement at being here.

In short, I am bored, restless, and uncertain of the next step forward career-wise. It is definitely time to move on but I am not sure where, and it's causing me no end of anxiety. I know I want to be a writer, and if I could have exactly what I wish for, I'd be a novelist riding a wave of massive popularity as my Indio Zoop novels become all the rage. I know in my heart of hearts that where I need to head, and with two novels in the trilogy actually written, it's no pipe dream. I can write a novel, I have proven that, and according to those who have read them very good ones (as a creative type, I am very hard on myself, so while I know I am talented and can write, you will never hear me glory in my talents because as I see it everything I write could always be better), but I keep telling myself it's too high a goal to reach for, and I should keep trying to shoehorn myself into a corporate job.

But the reality is I loathe corporate life - it is endless hard work for very little gain, a toxic environment for creative types like me, and while some people love selling their souls for their career, I am not one of them. As my good friend, Francis reminded this morning as we trudged up the central hall way linking the buildings where I work, what's the point of trying to fashion a long corporate career when it's not what I want?

He's right, you know (well likely you don't, but trust me when I tell you, it's right, with a capital R, backed by a major publicity campaign, a parade on main street and floodlit at night all night RIGHT), and I need to somehow fashion a path to my future that involves me being a writer, and pur all the time and effort into that, while trying to find a short term job that will get me through the 2-3 years it will likely take me to finally get a writing careeer up and running.

I am at the point where it can't be pie-in-the-sky stuff anymore (the writing that is) but must become flesh-and-blood reality (there go the zombies again.... and I don't even like horror!) much sooner rather than later before I burst a gasket.... and trust me, after my outburst at a work bully recently which brought me no end of grief, when I burst gaskets, it ain't pretty....

Time is tick-tick-tockin' indeed....

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 142 (Sunday 22 May) - Where is My Zombie Apocalypse?

Today was the day, at approximately 8 a.m. Sydney time (6pm New York, US time) that Jesus was supposed to rapture all the 'good' people - odd terminology since (a) it's an amazingly subjective word, (b) while I knew many lovely Christians growing up as a pastor's son, many too were petty and nasty and didn't reflect anything of Christ's glory as if having been 'saved' meant anything they said or did was 'good' - and lo, despite Harold Camping's assurance that it was all happen, heralded by earthquakes, nothing happened.

Big surprise. Apparently too, when the 'good' people of the people are raptured, leaving their pets behind to starve I assume, the dead shall rise from their graves which meant that not only would we have no 'good' people in the world, but also lots of undead clogging the streets.

Yet when I walked my boyfriend to his car this morning, not a zombie, Christian or otherwise, to be seen. Again, huge surprise.

Interestingly, there has been not a word from Harold Camping, who heads up a Christian radio network in the USA, although his spokesman, Tom Evans said "... the word of God is still true..." Maybe so, but you sir, and Harold and the gang are all certifiably nuts, and don't know your Bibles since the word of God explicitly says NO ONE can know the day of Jesus's coming.

Now, back to more important matters, where's my zombies?

Hands Full of Glitter and Tofu : 2011 Day 141 (Saturday 21 May) - Happy Birthday Ian!

What fun we had today!


Instead of the usual sit down and eat in a restaurant, which, while fun, has been there, done there, got the T-shirt, and the whole freakin' wardrobe, written all over it in screamin', migraine-inducing neon ink, Ina quite wisely decided to mix it up a lot..... and so we found ourselves at Clovelly Bowling Club, a small, very old fashioned club perched on the cliffs with killer views out to sea, looked after by a man who seemed gruff at first, but turned out to be really warm and welcoming, play lawn bowls!

My gorgeous guy and Waz, getting a little friendly with the ball

Lawn bowls with a killer view

Peter readies himself to bowl

My elegant motion did not usually result in elegant results, alas

The birthday boy sends another ball to meet the jack

Peter enjoying his Corona by the sea

Bowling is a very technical business, as I an illustrates

Bowl it Fahmi!

The team I was on used black bowls which really didn't bring us much luck, or fabulous technique!

Fahmi, my gorgeous guy and I

Be one with the ball Waz...



The gang holding their balls... lawn bowls balls that is, thank you



The view from the bowling green.....magic!

Waz, Ian and Peter

The original gang of four

Ian, Fahmi and Peter assessing some part of the game

My baby celebrating a particualrly skillful bowl

Ingo, Waz, Ian, Peter (back to camera) and my gorgeous guy, Steve

Posing with as much enthusiasm as I could manage... alas it had no effect on my bowling ability

The birthday boy, Ian, staring at the green...why I am not sure

Waz getting ready to send one down the green

My beautiful guy demonstrates the style that helped him and his team to victory

Scoring was quite precise. You had to work out how many of which colour balls - we had brown and black - were closest to the white jack. The team with the closest ball got to count any of their balls that were close to the jack until they came across the next closest opposing team's ball.

Yes a crass shot but it was the end of the day and I felt like being crass OK?

It's Mickey Balls!

The winning team standing in dignified silence

Yes we lost but you wouldn't have known it!

Yes the game my Granpa played. That old-fashioned game where balls trundle slowly down the well-manicured lawn while you try to land them as close to the small white jack as you can. I initially thought it may be a little slow and boring, but my gorgeous guy and the birthday boy, both convinced me it would be a hoot - and seriously if the word 'hoot', only one of my favourite ever, can be brought into the equation, then a fun activity it must be! - and while I vacillated between lawn bowls prodigy and lawn bowls village idiot (too much power alas so the ditch and I became firm friends; Fahmi meanwhile, to many jokes about how close he is to retirement, was consistently very good at it, helping his team win), I had a blast.

The birthday boy Ian and Ingo with my guy ordering drinks behind them

Present opening time! Thsi was Peter's card and presennt ; we (Waz, my guy and I) gave him the full set of Carry On DVDs

We all did, and while Peter grew a little tired of things around 4.30, we convinced him to keep playing till it got dark at 5 pm, our only regret they don't have neon-coloured balls, and disco lawn bowls....now that would be hoot-a-riffic on steroids my friends!

@ Mandala Nepalese restaurant - my guy, Peter and Waz

Ian, Ingo and Fahmi

My gorgeous guy and I - I got quite uncomfortable without a ball to brace myself but not even that could dim how lovely the place is.

Beautiful roof decoration

The gang at dinner - not sure why I look so portly - think the camera added 50 kgs to me!

The food was sublimely delicious and this was my favourite dish - red kidney bean currt. YUM!!

No back support? Simple fix - lean against each other....well done Ian and Ingo!

The cake alight!

Just gorgeous to look at and delicious - well done Peter!

Ian holding his cake

Our competitive spirit given a good run - Ian's team won (Fahmi, my gorgeous guy and him; the losers Waz, me, Peter and and Ingo) 15 to 2 - we had drinks in the club house, which was delightfully old-fashioned and stacked to the brim with club regulars who seemed very happy to be there - gave Ian his gifts (Waz, my guy and I gave him all 30 Carry On movies ina  deluxe DVD box set), before setting off for dinner at Mandala Nepalese restaurant, where we sat on cushions (somewhat painfully at times it has to be said), and ate the most delicious food, that was far more Nepalese it seemed than the Nepalese we had my birthday on King Street. The service was also delightful. We finished off with a gluten free mud cake, topped with cream and raspberries that Peter made, and as result, waddled back to our cars for the trip home (Fahmi drove us all home since Waz, my guy and I had got a taxi there).....