365 Pink Feather Boas All in a Row - Day 84 : Not Happy Jan

There are days when I wake up, and my sunny halo of blinding yellow happiness and joy slips ever so slightly, or like a clumsy rock climber slipping off the face of a mountain and plunging to the valley below, plummets mercilessly till it hits emotional rock bottom, and I slide from bed, not really thrilled with the state of my life. It is an entirely irrational state of mind, given the fact that I have the love of a beautiful man (whom I love back just as deeply), a plethora of close, wonderful friends who I value greatly, a wonderful housemate and life in Erskineville.

Where I think my emotional train goes off the rails is when I suddenly feel dissatisified with some aspect of my life, and at the moment, that would have to be my job. It isn't even that the job is bad though - I like my boss, my colleagues and the company I work for - it's just that I want so badly to be doing creative with my life that the current job pales in comparison with what I could be doing. Add to that the fact that my current job long ago ceased to be a real challenge or fun, and I am left with this horrible sense that I am walking the same tired steps day after day, achieving nothing of any real merit.

I do what I can to ameliorate this sense of Groundhog Day-ness with this blog, which is an amazing creative outlet that I love greatly, but for me to feel any sense of real satisfaction with my life, I need to do something and fast to remedy this sense of futility in my job..... and given that I, like everyone else, spends so much time at work, if it's not satisfying, it exacts a heavy toll - yes, even on someone as glass-half-full as me.

Thankfully I am seeing my career counsellor next week to chart a plan of action, and I am trying to think of ways to give my current job new meaning by contributing to the division's in house newsletter and also helping out with the Internal Communications team in the Corporate division. There's no silver bullet, granted, but I need to start doing something smartly so I can avoid more days like today when everything seems irrational dark and gloomy when in fact, it isn't. It's not ideal true, and my career needs a definite kick up the proverbial, and soon, but life isn't as bad as I felt it was this morning.

Having said that, I think I still need some chocolate.....