Project 289 - Day 30 : Dye! Dye! Xray! Bleed!

I was pumped full of dye today!

No, it wasn't the latest in a long line of attempts to recapture the spirit of the decade of my birth by tie-dying my innards; rather, and this is far less fun than putting funky patterns on my lower intestines, the good folks at the imaging practice filled me full of iridescent harmless goo (hopefully!! I guess we'll see in 5 years time if I grow a third arm or something from the mutating effects of radiation), all the better to see the inside of my jaw which has been hurting me like crazy these past few days. The dentist on Tuesday said it wasn't my teeth and the doctor at the medical practice I foolishly frequent in Newtown wasn't sure what the problem may be and so I found myself today strapped to a bed, being pumped full of rainbow-coloured sludge and whizzed in and out of the scanner, which is apparently so bad for you that the doctor flees the room, and leaves you alone with it!!

The insertion of the goop itself was a treat too. The doctor had issues giving the dye to go into my left arm, despite a bulging healthy vein that practically leaps off my arm begging to be noticed, so he tried the right arm instead (with a vein that clearly was complicit in allowing the slime in - so Vichy of it, collaborative bunch of corpuscles that it is!) which meant I ended up with a cotton wool ball per arm (see how fetching the look is, and why it will be the in-look this Northern Hemisphere Summer, in the photo below). Yes, a delightfully white matching pair that no doubt will be slavishly copied by the hipsters on King Street as the next big fashion statement, after I walked back to my car so adorned (so as not to bleed to death, which while dramatic, is not something I want as a life goal.. or death one, depending on how you see it). 

Not content with scarring me for the day, the goo also gave me an almighty hot flush and the feeling that I was pissing my pants..... I am sure there is some medical scientist, driven to sadism by walking in a dark basement lab somewhere, chortling merrily to himself at the idea of patients feeling that fabulously sensation.... I would hunt him down and make him watch endless re-runs of "Baywatch" but frankly I need to devote all my time to meeting demand for my new cotton wool arm adornments available for $119.95 at all good, and not so good, retail outlets.

**************************************************************

In between becoming my very own medical Chernobyl (no doubt you can see me glowing from wherever you are), I got the fan belt on my car tightened, took numerous painkillers, read some more of my book, napped, bought a CD by Razorlight, ate a ham & cheese croissant followed by a pecan tart, and walked the length of King Street..... and I finish the main part of the day here in my bedroom, watching the sun go down, the lights of the city go on (see the photo below), and wait for my darling man to come over for dinner.... naturally we will eat by the light of my radioactive glow.... how romantic.....