And then he ate and a great multitude of calories did enter him

Ya gotta love the weekends! They invariably involve catch-ups with friends, and very rarely does this involve learned discussion of Archimedes principles of buoyancy; usually its food and great amounts of it. I do tend to let myself depart from my usually spartan diet on the weekends, consuming chocolate bars, Indian food, and icecream like its going out of fashion (and the way Sara Lee discontinues product lines, that could well be the case) but this weekend set all new benchmarks. I managed to consume two lots of Indian food - but in the interests of variety I did vary the curries lest you fear I had fallen into a great big culinary rut and couldn't climb out), fish and chips (accompanied by a long walk with a good friend and his hyperactive 2 year old so that must count for a reduction in the calorie count surely), and tons of Yum Cha including the Alien Pods (pork buns), Jellyfish (dumplings) and Glowing Yellow Logs (mango pancakes) - notice my use of the actual Chinese terms (which they would be if the Chinese person was adopted at birth by Caucasians who didn't teach their child of word of their native tongue). And today? Low flat muesli bars and cucumbers with salmon....yep, DE-CA-DENT.....

I have a date tonight! You don't care really but after 9 months of licking my wounds after the last disasterous foray into building long and lasting intimate relations with someone, I am back in the fray and in exactly 1 hour and 20 minutes shall be making really awkward conversation for a good 10 minutes till I either hit a comfortable groove or start counting the time till I can reasonably walk away with dignity intact. Stay tuned.

All Those Little Things That Jam My Brain

Its been awhile snce I visited the ol' blog, and many small, spectacularly important, as you will soon see, questions and observations have rushed into my brain, stuck to my grey matter like super glue and refused to let go. So in an attempt to dislodge them, and free up my brain space for important things like watching "Grey's Anatomy" and ordering lunch, here they are in all their unadorned glory:

(1) Why did my iPod, which if pushed could no doubt rule the world in a benign and caring fashion while simultaneously washing up and watching over a flock of sheep (assuming I had anywhere in my 1 bedroom apartment to keep them) beep at me when it was uploading the latest batch of Songs I Cannot Live Without When Away From Home - yep, it has all the manners of a backwoods peasant as a medieval banquet at times - and say it couldn't find song such-and-such and hence couldn't upload it. Yet it knew that song was there hence the song must have been there to upload. Strangely enough my yelling at it that the song must have been there for it to know it even existed, failed to move it and it remained defiant to the end, hinting that if I pushed it, I would find myself in a chain gang smashing extremely large rocks in Mongolia, come the revolution when it would take over the world (yes, I know, I should never have mentioned to it that I thought it could pull it off).

This naturally forced me to.....meekly tinker with the name of the song so the iPod would deign to recognise it. So I guess that cowardly act rules me out of leading the resistance to my iPod's rule - unless I get another MP3 player, with no charisma or ability to govern anything - then I will be free to resist the benign yet despotic rule of my iPod which...what's that above me? An anvil - but wait where'd it come from? And what's that sliver of white & silve behind it? No it can't be! It is...aaagghh....

(2) Right - false alarm....just my overactive imagination and love of cheesy melodrama getting the better of me.....now where was I? Ah yes trivial thoughts that may yet impact mankind's very future on this planet...actually this one already has...I have become quite the Ebay mogul of late, selling tons 'o' stupidly ill-considered purchases in an attempt to get the baying wolves of VISA from my door.....didn't know they were using baying wolves did you? Yes the wolves, and the odd really ticked off wolverine, and irritated domesticated barnyard fowl, were all congregating at my door far too often, scaring the aforementioned herd of sheep, so something had to be done!

Oh, and I had to somehow get some money for my trip to Canada in November so I immediately drew up a lengthy list of Christmas ornaments I never put on the tree, DVDs I have yet to watch even though when I bought them I Had To Have Them Or Life Itself Would End, singles of an eclectic collection of artists, and in the most amazing part of this, gathering together a pile of plastic creatures that came in Kelloggs cereals back in the early 70s that I had recently found it were worth actual money! Lots of actual money! They have been the cash cow of my whole operation - just a second, I have to calm the sheep; the idea of a large bovine near them scared them silly - in one case bringing in $210 for 6 small plastic pirates. Yes honestly. So while I am not a hoarder - when you move as much as I do, hoarding is a silly idea! - I am heartily glad I am a sentimentalist and kept these tokens of my childhood. So I can sell them off, and make money as an adult! Natch! Not sure if I owe my parents a cut off the proceeds since they did buy the cereal in the first place, but I will try to convince them that my great love for them is more than enough compensation...or give them a few sheep maybe....

(3) As well as selling off treasured mementoes of my childhood to the highest bidder like some callous childhood memento selling-type person - do not let me near your treasure childhood knick knacks or you will find them on Ebay faster than you can blink; I have the fever, I tell you, I have the fever and must sell - it all!! - I have also decided to be austere and only buy things I actually need when I need them. Get out! Too late, I already am! Now this thought initially was as alien as suggesting I miss the latest series of Survivor - Stephenie has been brought back for the latest jaunt...hooray! ....this time to Guatemala - but I have done it over the last 3 months and discovered you don't need Lots of Stuff. Frightening indeed but true. Of Course, VISA and Mastercard are running scared, warning shareholders of profit downgrades this year, and I have had one or two calls from the Treasury begging me to keep spending, lest the economy stall....but I am resolute.....I am going to keep living on less...so I can spend lots in another country instead! Hello Canada!

Right well now that my brain is a little freer now, I think its time to think about what to have for lunch.....sushi perhaps? See, I do focus on the important stuff!